To begin this week’s post, if you are old enough, I ask you to do the math and bring yourself back 38 years. I wrote this on July 9, which would bring us to July 9, 1986.
1986 seems like forever ago. It might take you a while, but the exercise is helpful and helps illustrate how things change over time, people, places, and lifestyles.
I am writing about 38 years this week because in between Parshat Korach and Parshat Chukat, this week’s Parsha, 38 years elapse. 38 years of radio silence. What occurred during these 38 years? For starters, the original generation died off and a new generation was born. Other than births and deaths, there seem to be no events worth reporting, so this long period goes by in silence.
What must those years have been like? What might have been daily activities of the people? Was life dull or did they find ways to pass their days, as people do? Was community built? Did people feel that their purpose in life had been erased? What could their mindset have been?
This short poem is a reflection on 38 years gone by. Looking back, it seems a lifetime ago.
May we live each of our days to the fullest.
May we hear good news soon.
Leann
PS By concentrating on the 38 years, I have missed other huge events in Parshat Chukat, including the deaths of Aaron and Miriam, the enigma of the red heifer and Moses' fate not to enter The Land after he neglects to follow directions of God to provide the community with water. Read Parshat Chukat here https://www.sefaria.org/Numbers.19.1-22.1?lang=bi&aliyot=0
38 years
dreams were technicolor then
the moon was brighter
nothing seemed impossible
38 years
some were once at the table and one day, another,
their seats gaped empty and then
magically,
mystically,
fresh faces took their seats at the table,
still
you remember where your father sat,
he sat right there
and she stood at that sink
suds on her hands,
singing
38 years
once
the days were so long
and laundry piled on beds
mountains of laundry,
unpaired socks and tiny superhero underpants
your arms always full,
bags of groceries and children
who
chattered like monkeys
until you covered your ears,
closed your eyes tight, for
just a bit of peace,
quiet, please.
Now it is so quiet.
38 years.
The snow was deeper then
summers so sweet
and time seemed to stretch
outward
on a wavy ribbon of forever,
but
You've learned,
haven't you,
that human time doesn't stretch on forever,
instead
it just takes you on a bumpy ride,
longer at the beginning,
but then shorter
and shorter
each day.
Only nights remain long.
I'll do it tomorrow.
I'll do it tomorrow.
Soon.
I promise
Because 38 years seems like forever.
For more on the lost 38 years:
The Forgotten 38 Years
Other entries on Words Have Wings on Parshat Chukat
וַיָּבֹ֣אוּ בְנֵֽי־יִ֠שְׂרָאֵ֠ל כּל־הָ֨עֵדָ֤ה מִדְבַּר־צִן֙ בַּחֹ֣דֶשׁ הָֽרִאשׁ֔וֹן וַיֵּ֥שֶׁב הָעָ֖ם בְּקָדֵ֑שׁ וַתָּ֤מת שָׁם֙ מִרְיָ֔ם וַתִּקָּבֵ֖ר שָֽׁם׃
The Israelites arrived in a body at the wilderness of Zin on the first new moon, and the people stayed at Kadesh. Miriam died there and was buried there.
Bamidbar 20:1
M'farshim on the 38 years
(Rashi on this Pasuk): כל העדה. עֵדָה הַשְּׁלֵמָה, שֶׁכְּבָר מֵתוּ מֵתֵי מִדְבָּר וְאֵלּוּ פֵרְשׁוּ לַחַיִּים:
כל העדה [THE CHILDREN OF ISRAEL], EVEN THE WHOLE CONGREGATION — The congregation in its entirety, for those who were to die in the wilderness in consequence of their sin had already died, but these had been expressly mentioned for life (cf. Rashi on v. 22).
(Ibn Ezra on this Pasuk): בחדש הראשון. בשנת הארבעים והנה אין בתורה כלל שום מעשה או נבואה רק בשנה הראשונה ובשנת הארבעים:
IN THE FIRST MONTH. In the fortieth year. Look, the Torah does not contain any act or prophecy except in the first and the fortieth year.
(Chizkuni on this Pasuk): ויבאו בני ישראל, “The Children of Israel arrived, etc.;” the arrival of which the Torah speaks were was during the fortieth year of their wanderings. Their lengthy detour around the territory of Edom who had denied them passage and whom G-d had not allowed them to harass in any way, had now been completed. It had commenced at Kadesh Barnea, and was concluded in the desert of Tzin.
וַיָּבֹ֣אוּ בְנֵֽי־יִ֠שְׂרָאֵ֠ל
38 years ago .. our 10 th wedding anniversary .. life raising kids and celebrating all our Jewish holidays at our parents’ homes building on tradition . Then, I was not thinking about or worried as much about politics ( NYT) , but the most touching part of your beautiful poem is about time . Time seemed infinite and now there is never enough time ..it is a time for internal reflection .. thinking feeling and doing . 38 years … wow! I love your poem and will read it over and over again. Thank you, Leann. 💕
This is a memorable wow for the gut, the mind and the heart. Poignant ❤️