#wearefamily #family #bcholdorvador #isaac #jacob #rebecca #esau #yitzhak #rivka #esav #yaakov #competition #withloveweruin #mothersandfathers #familydynamics
As much as I want to write happy and fun poems about next week's parsha, Parshat Toldot, I have always found the story of Ya'akov and Esav to be so tragic. M'farshim create an unsavory description of Esav in the Midrash, and at this point relationships and family is ripped apart. I understand that my reading is not taking into accounts that events build upon each other in God's plan for leadership, but I also see inherent in the text the very human problems that are exhibited in this parsha. Favoritism and scheming are part of the fabric of Parshat Toldot. Through these jealousies and plans we have seen generations of division and enmity. This is no small thing.
This poem, called "We are Family" is based on Genesis 25:26 (translation from Sefaria)
וַיֶּאֱהַ֥ב יִצְחָ֛ק אֶת־עֵשָׂ֖ו כִּי־צַ֣יִד בְּפִ֑יו וְרִבְקָ֖ה אֹהֶ֥בֶת אֶֽת־יַעֲקֹֽב׃
Isaac favored Esau because he had a taste for game; but Rebekah favored Jacob.
We Are Family
We are a family
Sitting in a home or a tent
by a stove or a hearth
We sit together or apart
Our mannerisms similar
Our eyes the same shape and color
Eyes that reflect in each other's
Or eyes that don't meet
as we stare down at the table
One child is like you
stubborn, strong, decisive
your chin, your eyes
proud and outgoing
and one is unlike you
as oil is to water
less certain, studious and serious
You struggle to find a way to connect
We are just parents
Tripping down the road of best intentions
We bring our imperfect selves
delivered to the alter of parenting
Our likes and dislikes set long ago
Branded into us since our childhoods
We are our parent's parenting
L'dor vador
We dance the uneven dance of parenthood
The endless waltz of our responsibilities
Days pile up to years
Moments of sweet connection
but so many misses
Unintentional mistakes
Showing favorites
One child at the expense of the other
A look at one and not the other
a missed glance
a raised eyebrow
a frown where a smile should be
a pat on the back that never came
a tear not wiped away
Empty air where a hug should have been
Stingy with our praise
Generous with our criticism
We turn away
Ignoring the hurt in our children's eyes
We can't help ourselves
Sometimes
With love we chip away
Sometimes
With love we push too much
Sometimes
With love we want our children to be us
Sometimes
With love we smash instead of build
Sometimes
With love we create jealousy and enmity
Sometimes
With love we divide instead of unite
Sometimes
With love our children are divided
Two parents
Two loves
Two nations
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